So I kept racing, kept getting hit with stupid shells, and slipping on banana peels like it was my job.
So there I was, chilling in my room, playing Mario Kart on my PS5. I was playing as Mario, obviously, and I was zooming through the tracks like a pro. Everything was going great, and I won the race, feeling like an absolute legend. But then—BOOM! Out of nowhere, this giant black cloud just appeared, wrapped around me, and next thing I knew, I was sucked into the game. I felt like I was being transported into another universe. I was inside Mario Kart. Totally freaking out, I started pounding on the TV, yelling, “LET ME OUT!” But nope, I was stuck.
And it got worse. Instead of being Mario, I became Luigi, my least favorite character. No offense to Luigi, but I wanted to be the main guy, not his awkward brother. But fine, whatever, I was Luigi now. As I was trying to figure out how to escape, this huge sign popped up, saying, “Win the game for a special reward and leave.” So now I thought, “Cool, I’ll just win, get the reward, and get out of here.” Easy, right? Spoiler: It was not easy.
I built my own kart, which I thought looked pretty sick, but I’d never driven a real car before. It turned out that driving a kart is a lot harder than pressing buttons on a controller. I was crashing everywhere including walls, trees, and railings. I came in dead last every single time. After what felt like a million tries (OK, maybe 200), I finally started to figure it out. I wasn’t as terrible as I had thought, and I even got third place a few times. But there was always this one annoying robot that just had to win every race. I swear, this thing had it out for me.
Anyway, after a bunch of losses, I decided to take a prolonged break. Bad idea. When I came back, I was even worse than before. I couldn’t remember how to do anything. It was like I had unlearned all my skills in one nap. I was back to square one, trying not to crash into everything. Eventually, after ages of trying, I hit first place! I was so hyped—finally, I could get out of this crazy game! Or so I thought …
But then another message popped up: “You have to win first place THREE times to leave.” I’m not even kidding. THREE times?! I had only won once, and I was already exhausted. But there was no way I was giving up now. So I kept racing, kept getting hit with stupid shells, and slipping on banana peels like it was my job.
Finally—after what felt like forever—I won three first places. I was pumped. I thought I could finally escape. But here’s the twist: I checked the scoreboard and realized I had actually won seven times. SEVEN! It turned out that I could have left after the first three, but nope—I just kept going because I hadn’t realized it. The game totally tricked me, and I was too dumb to notice.
When I finally got back to the real world, I thought, “Okay, that was definitely a dream.” But no—there was a message on the screen confirming that I could have left after three wins. THREE! I wasted all that time for no reason! I couldn’t even be mad; I just laughed at how dumb it all was.
